On one hand, I'm the type of person that likes to have things 'taken care of'. I don't like issues hanging on, for my experience has been that ignoring or avoiding issues causes them to fester and cause further damage to everyone involved.
But, on the other, I am a rather non-confrontational person. I don't relish confrontation, and suffer some serious (and annoying) physical manifestations of the stress related to a difficult confrontation. Blood pressure soars, heart races, the familiar adrenalin jolt from a flash of temper, the inevitable headache, emotional and physical fatigue, tears, melancholy...all hitting during and after an uncomfortable confrontation (even if the confrontation ends with a good result). It's not something I look forward to, ever. Those symptoms are sure difficult to manage while in the middle of a heated situation, most certainly.
I'm not afraid to confront someone when necessary. But, it's not my preference.
If I had to come up with one thing that I avoid, it would be confronting someone who has been saying awful things about me to others. I would much rather put my hope in the fact that the ones hearing such terrible things would not believe them. I would like to think that they would not believe the worst about me because they know me well enough to know my character.
One can always hope, right?
Along with that hope, always, is the over-riding wish that if I could just show my enemies (those who have cut me off from relationship or those still thinking and talking bad about me) how much I loved them, they would change their view and return that love and friendship to me. If I could be successful in relating how much they mean to me, how highly I value them or how hard I strive for showing and giving unconditional love and understanding...how much I grieve and bleed at lost relationship, then they certainly would have compassion enough to discuss, reconcile and restore relationship.
No, I'm not a Pollyanna...but I continue to think that if my enemies just knew how much I loved and cared about them, prayed for them, hoped the best for them, and needed them, it would change everything.
In my experience, it usually doesn't.
2 comments:
I have no words that can help you feel better. All I can say is that I love you more than I can ever express!! HUGS!!
Yes... I wish it was so, my friend.
You know how I feel about confrontation - I let fear get in the way all too often.
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