Sometimes

Sometimes things just don't turn out the way I would like.

Sometimes those closest disappoint and fail to do what's right.

Sometimes I can't get it together to be who I need to be.

And sometimes it seems like timing is off and in the emotion, I can't see.

All the silence,

and all the pain.

Damning indecision falls like rain.

Waves of memory wash and snare
drowning me in currents of despair.

Sometimes I bend and dodge the truth,
"no, nothing's wrong - oh, and by the way,
why would you care?"

Sometimes I want to know it will be over soon;
for surely, there has to be an end...

Dull but pounding grief.

Tender scars remind
and sometimes bleed.

Inadequacy that clings and won't let go.

Lack of respect that's sharp - 
I'm always tempted to turn aside from what I know.

But still - 
I remember who I am.

And always -
I remember Who I serve.

Deep down -
I always know
that it is my choice to go;
that I don't have stay
for another minute or one more day
in this place of pain.

Thou, O LORD, 

art a shield about me.

You're my glory,

and the lifter of my head.

Hallelujah!

You are (always) the lifter of my head.

Sometimes, I just need to close my eyes and drink in praise to our LORD.
And remember why I persevere.

We only have to live one day at a time,
and then we never have to live it again.

This is a good thing.