Question No. 13

A good question, but do I have an answer?

I don't like to fear, and I don't like to admit to fear. I don't much care for asking myself the question of what I do fear, to be honest. But, if I did, a progression of answers quickly jump into my head; fear of dying a horrible death, fear of my loved ones dying, fear of not being able to handle a situation appropriately, fear of...of...

rejection.

Ah, now there's the rub, right? Fear of rejection is truly the root of my personal fear. To that end, I make every effort to be acceptable - to be kind, loving, gracious, self-sacrificing - in order to avoid rejection. Surely, one who exhibits those characteristics couldn't possibly be rejected, right?

Not true.

So, I'd like to rephrase the question.

Q: "What has fear of rejection stopped you from doing?"

A: Taking risks.

Risk with relationship, risk with money.
Completely being myself presents too much risk of not being 'liked' or accepted by my husband, kids, friends and acquaintances. Stretching for that dream may lead to judgment, wasting time and squandering money...causing others discomfort or pain. Expectations, both spoken and unspoken, may not be met. What a risk.

Don't get me wrong - I don't really mind standing on my own alone. However, it's the process of getting there that is so painful. More risk - the fear of emotional pain.

I have muffed it so many times.
Right or wrong, I'm afraid of being rejected...again.
So much so, that I'm not willing to risk certain things, choosing to play it safe.

I suspect we are all afraid of being rejected.

Funny. It seems as though the very thing you are frightened of the most comes to pass.